Where can I start? Today has been one of the STRANGEST days I have ever lived. In fact, this whole weekend has been out of whack.
My plans of going to sleep early on Friday were dashed with the access to ABC News 24 broadcasting. I got to sleep at about 1.30am… I was then up at 6am for the Pies game and to start tracking the absolute madness that eventuated with the election. By 10.30am (12.30am AEST) I was beat and jumped back into bed. I then woke up at 1pm. I made a huge batch of pasta sauce to freeze and then after cleaning up, jumped back into bed to relax. Of course, I naturally fell asleep and was woken up by Bill at 6.45pm giving dinner ideas. I spent the rest of the night stressing out that I wouldn’t be able to sleep at all but no worries – by 1am I was back in a deep sleep.
Obviously, our original weekend plans were foiled by my super late night so we planned to go to the movies all Sunday. Perfect! The plan was to go to Mass at 8.30, then get up to the Upper West Side to see the 10.30am Scott Pilgrim and then walk a few blocks down Broadway and see Animal Kingdom at 1pm. Perfect!
Firstly, we slept in. Getting ready for Mass was a frantic case of chucking on jeans and boots and heading out. It was like a SAUNA outside. The air was steamy and it really reminded me of Savannah. We got to Mass with plenty of time to spare and this is where things started to get out of whack. For some reason, Fr Joe wasn’t there and we had a different priest. Everything was said/sung differently and he gave a very long sermon. In a steamy church, it was a struggle. Then just before communion the lady in front of us bounded out of her pew and ran across to the other side of pews. Bill whispered “I think there is a water bug there…” so I was trying to get a look in as well. The woman was so petrified she was kneeling on the pew itself instead of going anywhere near the floor. Well then the ‘bug’ appeared and crossed across the aisle… oh dear it was easily the size of a large thumb and was this massive roach like insect. This new priest is trying to say the Eucharistic prayer and the group of us in the middle of the church were all “EEEEEKEKKKKKKK!” Bill buttoned up the top button of his shirt as he envisaged the bug flying down his shirt neck and I felt so itchy seeing it scatter across the floor. It then FLEW up into the altar area and thankfully the priest did not notice as it went right up into one of the large statues of a saint. It was just too much!
After Mass we scattered out of the church as fast as we could to get to the train. We had just missed one so we were stuck on the steamy platform for a good ten minutes. We were lucky to arrive at the cinema with time to spare and we were starving. So we ran across to Food Emporium in the middle of a downpour thinking they’d have some decent breakfast/lunch fare that we could pick up. There was nothing really ready yet so Bill got some chicken tenders and a pasta salad from the salad bar area and I got a donut and packet of chips. We settled in to watch Scott Pilgrim with a big coke – what a wonderfully healthy breakfast. The AMC Lincoln Square cinemas were really nice and that was the first time I’d been to them so that was a treat.
Now Scott Pilgrim is a pretty wild, loud movie to see so early on a Sunday – but the audience were great apart from a woman behind us who (I think was ill) and kept dashing out of the movie. I would never have seen this movie myself normally but it was made to be seen at the movies and the effects were great!
We then strolled down Broadway to the Lincoln Plaza Cinemas to see Animal Kingdom. I was really looking forward to going to a little arthouse cinema with a quiet crowd and settling in for a relaxing experience. Um no. Now – I have been looking forward to Animal Kingdom for a while so I was pumped to see it. Firstly, we were ushered into this ridiculous line to wait to get into the actual cinema. I can deal with that – except the people in the line were already annoying me with their holier-than-thou pretentious stances, flying around their copies of the Sunday edition of the Times and thinking they were all rebellious for seeing some hip foreign film from Australia. Little did they know about the bogan factor I am sure! Anyway I gritted my teeth and thought at least when we got into the cinema I wouldn’t have to deal with them. Once we found our place in the cinema and the previews started then… the audience started. I will say now – the behavior was DISGUSTING. These weren’t ratbag kids – these were 45-60 year old people who were DISGRACEFUL. Now just to note – Animal Kingdom is one of the heaviest, most intense filmed I have ever watched. If you are chatting through it – you just do not get it. The basic re-enactment of Walsh Street had me in tears. It was graphic and you felt like you were with Tynan/Eyre right there. It was callous and cruel scene that ends as quick as it started. These people did not respect the movie or its content at all. I will put their various actions into list format – yes… it deserves a list.
- The three men behind us proceeded to get up and down, swapping seats and standing in the aisle in during the previews.
- A guy started hooting and hollering during the preview for Inside Job. When the preview showed a part on the housing crisis he yelled out “…and don’t forget Barney Frank!” and then when Barney Frank came on the screen he basically started hissing at the screen!
- There were more seat shufflers in front of us.
- The movie started and there was a guy munching on snacks a few rows down… the guy in front of him turned around and yelled “WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO FINISH THAT?!??!” The Eating Man just shrugged and kept eating. After about five more minutes the man in front actually got up and stood over him and yelled “Are you gonna stop that anytime SOON!?!?!?” I couldn’t believe it. The guy just kept.. eating. Angry Man sat back down.
- The three seat shufflers behind us started mumbling from about the first ten minutes of the movie.
- A weird couple came in late and sat in front of Bill and I. She continually played with her hair and he kept mumbling to explain things to her. As in… “That is the police…” It was INFURIATING. After about an hour of his little tips, Bill ended up saying, “Do you mind?” and they still didn’t get it.
- Angry Man ended up messing around with his backpack about 30 minutes into the film and rattling his shopping bags around like an idiot.
- Eating man ended up GETTING A PHONE CALL! He walked out to take the call. When he came back, he deliberately went and sat IN FRONT of Angry Man. So Angry Man cracked it again and went and picked up his noisy backpack and moved back to where Eating Man was originally sitting.
- Angry Man ended up making more noise and then stood up and put his coat on in the middle of the movie.
- Weird couple kept talking.
- The seat shufflers kept mumbling. So much that I turned around (and I never say anything) and said “Can you PLEASE be quiet?”
It was a nightmare. At one stage I contemplated leaving and asking for my money back. But the film was engrossing. It was mentally draining. I cannot describe it any other way. There was no breather through the movie. It was crazy. I think I should’ve got up and just shouted to all the loonies in the cinema “CASH?! THERE’S NO CASH HERE! HERE… THERE’S NO CASH!” or just anything in my biggest bogan voice to make it seem like I stepped out of the movie. The movie had us on edge and before I knew it, it was over. Normally Bill and I both watch the credits. Not in that place – we bolted out of the asylum and just wanted to get home. I will NEVER EVER go to that cinema again. It was a loony bin. Little did I know, if I had read the Yelp reviews beforehand I would have know what to expect.
We wandered down to the Columbus Circle station, still in a daze from the movie and feeling like we’d lived every scene. We were walking down the stairs to the train when there was a huge crash. This guy had dropped his entire Container Store purchase down the stairs and it was just madness to see all the tumbling wire drawers scatter down. I said to Bill, “Seriously just get me home…” and we quickly hopped on the A train. The minute we went to sit down we were confronted with a guy screaming in our face “A DOLLAR? A SANDWICH? ANYTHING FOR THE HOMELESS!!!!” He was screaming at everyone and telling us his life story. I just looked out the window into the darkness and let him keep yelling. When he alighted, ANOTHER yeller got on. This time he started with the same kind of story. Someone quickly told him not to bother because we’d just had someone in our carriage and then this guy across from us started to strike up a conversation with this man and his Jocelyn Wildenstein looking wife. They all started arguing between themselves. As Bill said – it was like we had just been dumped in the middle of some crazy Woody Allen movie about ‘real New Yorkers’. The couple got off the train at the next stop and then the woman beside me started talking to the guy who started arguing in the first place. We were in shock – I said to Bill “What is going on in this place today?!” It was like there was no-one half normal on the streets since 1pm!!!
By the time we got to 14th Street I was telling Bill how I had a really bad feeling that there is crazy stuff going on today or something weird is going on in the city. With that, a group of teenagers walked past our carriage and started shouting “BAAAAAAAA!!! BAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! BAAAAAAAA!!!” into the carriage. Bill actually questioned whether we had time traveled back to 1970’s New York. It was that crazy….!!! We got home and we locked the door and said “That is it – we are not going back out there today!!!” The heaviness of that movie, the craziness of NYC – it was just a bad bad mix.
I don’t know what is going on but it feels like every thing is losing the plot! Australia has no government, this city has been overrun by crazy people, we saw two movies that were absolute polar opposites…. the whole weekend just feels wrong and I need to go back in time and change it.
With that… I now cannot believe I have to go to work tomorrow. I don’t want to go back out there!