Being over here in New York while all my family are back in Australia, I obviously feel very far away from home.
The past week though, I have felt even further away than I normally do and it is a truly awful feeling.
Uncle Ray, dads younger brother, passed away last Wednesday after fighting a brave battle against Melanoma. In the past six months, I have missed all the family get-togethers and as well, all the painful hospital visits and reminders of what was to come. I missed seeing Uncle Ray and I missed being part of a whole lot of family photos that were taken at a very awesome bbq we all had. I also missed out on going to the Anzac Day game with mum, dad and Uncle Ray. These are the big things to miss, but I just take comfort in the fact that I hope my own memories are bigger.
In some ways, it was easier to be here but in other ways, so very hard. Hearing everyone be so sad and upset over the phone and knowing what they were going through was heart wrenching. But then again, I wasn’t part of it every day.
Trying to find some way to help out over here has been hard. I worked on the family eulogy from here and also the obituary – but you do feel truly hopeless and the 20 hours of flying seems like nothing compared to the distance that you really feel is between you and your own family.
Last week, I wrote Uncle Ray a letter that I got mum to read him in the hospital and even though (insert in-joke here) it contains one-too-many Barry Gibb references, I am happy that I got to say goodbye in my way.
The funeral was yesterday and by all accounts, mum said it was absolutely beautiful. It hurts that I wasn’t able to be there and to give out a surplus of hugs but I am so glad that it seemed to be a fitting farewell to a wonderful person.
Bill and all the Blevins Family have been such comfort through all of this, so I definitely have not felt alone, but sometimes you just want to be able to go ‘home’ and be there in no time at all. A sad chapter of 2009 closed last Wednesday… I just take comfort that Uncle Ray is now resting in peace.
Here is a recent photo – Uncle Ray and Dad at the Anzac Day Game, 2009 –
Raymond Vincent Cleary
December 9 1956 – November 25 2009